


Drown me Out

by momiji_neyuki



Series: The Shadow Side [6]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Confronting, M/M, New love, Past Relationship(s), Recovery, Song Lyrics, mentions of rehab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:16:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momiji_neyuki/pseuds/momiji_neyuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>And when I get the feeling, I let the damn walls break</b>
  <br/>
  <b>Let the damn walls break...Down!</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drown me Out

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So this one is a little different. The beginning of the story has nothing to do with the lyrics. It is basically setting up for the moment they become valid for Gerard. You will see. ^-^
> 
> Please enjoy guys.

It had been six months since Gerard had seen Frank. After the hospital, Mikey insisted he go to rehab. While there he got counseling that only confirmed what he knew in his heart; he was in an abusive relationship fueled by narcotic substances and alcohol and that, quite possibly, Frank had never loved him. How could he when he hit him all the time, made fun of his weight, didn’t even notice that Gerard had developed an eating disorder or his self-loathing. No, being away from Frank all this time was a good thing. Gerard got his job back and started to make friends again. He was not an alcoholic but he still chose not to drink and avoid the temptation. His new friends respected that. Still at night, he was still haunted by his former life with Frank.

**Another moment breaks, the shadow side of me**

**It's like holding on until I fall apart**

He worried that one day he was going to wake up and be trapped again in that loveless relationship. It didn’t happen though. Instead he met Bob.

”Hey, Gee, this is Bob. Bob, this is Gerard, my older brother.”

”Nice to meet you, Gerard.”

”Nice to meet you too.”

Bob had a firm handshake that Gerard liked.

”So, Gerard, what do you do?”

”I work for an art store. I teach classes on beginner painting.”

”Nice, like for kids?”

”Oh no, it’s an adult class.”

Mikey watched as Bob and Gerard talked. He smiled. Mikey had known Bob for years. They worked together and Bob was Mikey’s rock when Gerard was a mess. Mikey knew that Bob would be better for Gerard than Frank. Plus Bob was straight edge but didn’t judge others. 

”So shall we get going?”

”Yup and I am totally gonna get a hole in one before you, Mikey.”

”No way, Gee, I am the master of the putter.”

Bob laughed as the two brothers argued on their way to the car.

**They say to live with this song I have to sing**

**It's the cross that hangs deep below my heart**

”No no, get away from me! No no no!”

”Gerard!”

Gerard woke up covered in sweat. He looked and saw Bob in front of him.

”Bob? What are you…”

”Your brother had an emergency at the shelter and had to leave. He asked me to stay with you in case of…well, this.”

Gerard looked up at him.

”Mikey told you didn’t he?”

”Yeah, I was kind of his confidant through it all.”

”How could I have been so stupid?”

”We do stupid things when we think we are in love.”

”I know I was in love but I don’t think he ever loved me.”

Gerard began to cry and Bob circled his arms around him.

”It’s okay, Gee, just let it out.”

And Gerard did. He cried for his failed relationship and how much he tried to fix everything by himself. It was one sided the whole time and it hurt to take that in.

**And when I get the feeling, I let the damn walls break**

**Let the damn walls break…Down!**

”Shhh, I got you, I got you.”

Bob rocked Gerard till he fell asleep in his arms. When Mikey came home in the early morning he found them like that in Gerard’s bed. He smiled and then went to his own room.

_***Time Stamp: Three Months Later***_

”Come on, Gee, you can make it.”

”Fuck you, Bobby, this sucks.”

”Yeah, but the view will make it all worth it.”

”I don’t see how.”

Bob put his hand out for Gerard to make it over the cliff. He pulled Gerard up and steadied him.

”I got you, Gee.”

Gerard took a moment to rest in Bob’s arm and catch his breath. When he opened his eyes he gasped.

”Oh wow, Bobby, it is breathtaking up here.”

The sunset was spread across the other mountains with reds, golds, oranges and pinks. Gerard’s eyes started to tear up.

”Hey, what’s wrong, honey?”

”Nothing, I just…I never thought I would live to see something like this.”

”Oh I did.”

Gerard looked at Bob.

”How? How could you have known?”

”I told Mikey that you were a survivor and that you were stronger than the things trying to tear you down and destroy you.”

**Nothing's gonna drown me, nothing's gonna drown me**

**Out!**

**From the top of the world to the bottom of the ocean**

”You had faith in someone that you didn’t even know.”

”I felt like I knew you. Just from the way Mikey described you.”

”Bobby.”

Gerard turned in his arms and kissed him as the sun colored their skin.

”We need to set up before we lose all our light.”

”Mmmm, you get the tent and I will get the firewood.”

They kissed again and then parted to their tasks.

_***Time Stamp: Three Months Later***_

”And the winner is…Gerard Way!”

”What?!”

”Go on, honey, go collect your prize!”

Gerard got up and walked to the stage through the applause of his peers. He could not believe that his painting had won. He watched his boyfriend bursting with pride as he said a little speech filled with shock and laughter. Next thing he knew he was in his arms getting hugged and kissed.

”I’m so proud of you, Gee.”

”I’m still in shock I won!”

”Let’s go celebrate.”

”Yeah!”

**Screaming loud, screaming loud from the underground**

**Listen now, listen now, you're not taking me…Down!**

They left the hotel and headed to their favorite restaurant. When they got there though there had been a water main break so it was closed for cleanup.

”Um…what about that new place across town?”

”Sure, I’m up for an adventure.”

They drove the 20 minutes it took to get there. A valet took the car and Gerard waited on the sidewalk for Bob. He looked around and realized he was in his old neighborhood.

”Everything okay, honey?”

”Yeah, just…we are close to where I used to live with Frank.”

”Oh…did you want to leave?”

Gerard looked at Bob.

”Nah, I’m probably being silly. It been almost a year. I need to get over my fear of running into him.”

”That’s my baby.”

**Nothing's gonna drown me, nothing's gonna drown me out**

* * *

”Frank, you got another table.”

”Alright, let me finish clearing these three.”

”Hurry up, the customers are not supposed to be kept waiting.”

”Got it.”

Frank finished clearing the tables quickly and then brought the dishes back to the dishwasher. He exchanged the buckets and then washed his hands. He made sure his uniform looked good and then grabbed a fresh pitcher of water and a basket of bread then he headed out to the new table.

”The menu looks amazing! I don’t know what to get?”

Bob laughed at the way Gerard’s face lit up as he scanned the menu.

”Order whatever you want, honey, it’s your night to celebrate.”

”Good evening, I’m your waiter for this evening Charles. Can I start you with something to drink while you decide on your order?”

”Sure, I’ll have a virgin Pina coloda.”

”Same please.”

”Good cause I would have had to card you if you asked for any alcohol.”

Gerard laughed and looked at Bob. He loved that people told Gerard he looked so young.

”Your water and bread basket should be here in a moment.”

Charles turned the water glasses over and then left.

”Frank, you’re late.”

”Sorry, I had other tables to clear first.”

Gerard froze. There was no way that was his voice.

”Don’t give me excuses, just get over there.”

”Right, sorry.”

No, it couldn’t be him. He would never let someone talk to him like that.

”Sorry about that delay, folks, here is your bread basket and may I fill your water glass?”

”Yes please but no ice. Gee, what about you?”

Gerard lifted his head from the menu at the same time that Frank turned his head. They both stared at each other for a second.

”Sir…would you like some ice in your water?”

”Uh…”

”You can just leave the pitcher please.”

Bob saw the fear in Gerard’s eyes.

”Very good, sir.”

Frank put the pitcher down and then quickly left. He ran through the kitchen and out the back door with someone yelling at him. He leaned against the wall trying to catch his breath. Instead he threw up.

**Feel a violent rage, washing over me**

**I can barely breath, bury me alive**

”I just need…can you order me the Harvest salad and grilled salmon with roasted veggies and rice. I’ll be back.”

Gerard got up and kissed Bob. He then headed outside for some air. He needed a cigarette. He knew Bob didn’t like them but he understood. Gerard rounded the corner to not bother those waiting to enter the restaurant. He pulled the cigarette out and patted for his lighter.

”Fuck.”

He saw someone down the way smoking.

”Hey, can I get a light?”

”Uh…sure.”

Gerard stilled as the figure moved closer. Of course it was Frank again.

”Hey uh…Gerard, how are you?”

”I’m alright. You work here now?”

”Yeah, me and the other place didn’t really work out.”

Frank took a drag of his own cigarette.

”You look good. You did your hair.”

”Actually this is my normal color. I feel kind of like a church mouse but it is a nice change.”

Frank chuckled lightly.

”Yeah, I can see that.”

They smoked in silence for a bit.

”So that guy…”

”My boyfriend, Bob. A friend of Mikey’s that he works with.”

”How long?”

”About six months? He didn’t want to rush anything after I got out of rehab.”

”Oh, so you got clean?”

”Kind of had no choice; when I was in the hospital they said I had to go.”

”How was it?’

”Kind of sucked.”

”Yeah, I bet…listen, Gee, I…”

**All the tragedy becomes a symphony**

**Full of pain, I feel my final goodbye**

”Look, Frank, it’s over. Whatever this was, it’s finished.”

”I know, I just…”

”Goodbye, Frank.”

Gerard didn’t wait for Frank to say anything else. He put his cigarette out and then went back inside.

”Hey, feeling better?”

Bob leaned up to kiss Gerard and wrinkled his nose.

”Yeah sorry, I just needed a moment. Catch some air, you know.”

”I find it funny that your version of getting air is to have a smoke.”

Gerard was worried Bob was angry but his face just showed concern.

”Are you really alright?”

Bob touched Gerard’s hand.

**And when I get the feeling, I let the damn walls break**

**Let the damn walls break …Down!**

”Feel better, Frank.”

”Yeah, I’ll see you Monday, Charlie.”

Gerard saw Frank leaving at the back of the restaurant. He was not dressed sharp like he used to. He looked kind of normal and broken.

”Yeah, Bobby, I’m fine.”

**Nothing's gonna drown me, nothing's gonna drown me out!**


End file.
